We are nearing the end of February and the longer days bring with them the promise of spring. People seem a little more upbeat somehow. Spring, to me means that my world opens up and I can breathe again. I am looking forward to being outside working in my garden and listening to the many happy sounding bird songs. I love that the children spend more time outside, running off their energy. I always feel more alive as my flowers find their way back to their rightful places and the trees get reacquainted with their leaves.
I am also mindful that this time of year arrives with many people who are struggling also. I was surprised to learn that spring has the highest rate of suicide than any other time of year. I was also surprised to learn that, although women attempt suicide significantly more often than men, men have the highest death rate because they tend to use more violent means. There are many reasons why people find themselves actually considering ending their lives. Some of these reasons may not even make sense to somebody else, but these reasons are real to someone who is depressed or to someone who has just suffered a loss, for instance. Generally speaking, those who are feeling suicidal will try to tell someone. Maybe in a casual or off-handed way, or maybe they will just blurt it out. Either way, if you feel someone is thinking about suicide, ask them. Not everyone is comfortable talking about this and some people say they are afraid to ask because they don’t want to put the idea in their head. Statistics show that if someone is saying things like, “The world is just better off without me”; “No one cares anyway”; or, “I wish I were dead”, chances are they are already considering it, especially on the anniversary of a loss; especially if the loss was through suicide, or if they are depressed. Asking them if they are considering killing themselves doesn’t mean that you have to know the right things to say to keep them alive. There is no right thing to say really. They just need to know that you care enough to ask and to help get them to the people who are trained to work on this issue. Sometimes they agree to go on their own, sometimes they need someone to take them, or sometimes you need to call the police to take them. It’s okay if they are angry at you because being angry is much better than being dead. So if they have made you promise not to tell anyone, tell people anyway. People who can get them to the help they need. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are also some very good training for those who would like to learn how to ask the question. One of them is called, “Safe Talk” and is often offered free in various communities. Enjoy your spring everyone, be kind to each other, and stay safe.
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Our daily lives are becoming bombarded by Christmas carols, commercial ads invoking images of traditional values for sale, staff parties and Christmas concerts, shopping, and pictures with Santa are all happening at this time of year. Magnificent Christmas displays in people’s homes and yards can make travelling almost a joyful experience, and many people have a favourite memory, movie, or experience to savour and share.
But not everyone. For many, the holidays are a time of pain, loss, and isolation. Many families are apart, often for the first time. For others, it is the anniversary of loss of a loved one through suicide, accidents, or illness. Many are struggling through addiction issues. A large number of people also feel trapped in situations where they experience poverty, unhealthy or abusive relationships, or loneliness. For many more, memories of Christmas’ past evoke trauma, conflict, fear, and confusion. Tradition is important. It is often a meaningful way to honour our past, our childhood, and our ancestors. The thought of not being able to follow our traditions in the usual way can also be the thing that holds us back from enjoying what we do have. And we all have something in our lives that is important and meaningful and that has value. We may have suffered, or have lost some loved ones. We may have split from our families or are struggling to totally change our lifestyles and are looking to fill voids with something meaningful. Christmas can be a very good time to begin to intentionally create your own traditions – ones that are inclusive to those trying for the first time to stay sober for instance; or one that allows for Christmas to be celebrated with children on a different day, because that is when your opportunity to be with them is possible. Ones that have you going to the dollar store with your kids and getting all your Christmas decorations together for your new place, and decorating it together as this new family unit. Ones that don’t allow for arguments between parents in front of their children or anyone arriving home intoxicated. We can use this time to seek out someone safe to talk to about our struggles or, to be a listening ear for someone else. Maybe this will be the first time you were ever completely present with your children and not working long hours of overtime, or suffering from a hang-over. Maybe this is the right time to re-assess your life and begin making more intentional choices about how you will move through your life from here on. We all get bombarded with messages of how to enjoy the holidays and all the ‘magic’ that comes with it. We, each of us have the responsibility to savour these times in a way that is safe for ourselves, and for everyone that we may encounter during the season, whether it is those we live with or those we will encounter on the road. Please have a happy and safe holiday season. -New Leaf Staff and Board |
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