Taking Responsibility only begins with saying “I’m sorry.” Being truly sorry is an action. It means following through and making sure you do what you need to do to make sure it never happens again. In my work here over the years, I received the most amazing apology I ever heard. It contained what the client was sorry for, why he was sorry for it, declared that it was against all his values and a promise to never do it again.
I was deeply moved because the apology was well thought out, eloquent, and he delivered it very sincerely. The very next week, he not only did the same thing again that was hurtful, it was nastier than the first time.
People may believe what they hear for a short time, but ultimately, we have a tendency to believe what we see. If what we see is you being the sorriest person in the County but continuing to do it again anyway, you have lost all credibility.
When you try to blame someone else for your choices, you are not taking responsibility. It is impossible to do both at the same time.
So, why should anyone bother to take responsibility for anything in this world of only admitting to what you got caught for?
Simply put- It Frees you. You don’t have to carry around guilt, shame, or the feeling that you are not a good person. All those negative emotions accumulate and over time, make it impossible for you to ever feel good about yourself. You go around blaming others and the world for everything, argue with people frequently which leaves you feeling just plain miserable. Or worse, feeling like a victim all the time, even though you are the one creating it. It’s crazy making.
Talk about it, fairly. Take responsibility for your choices. It may not be comfortable at the time, or even right away, but it will begin to free you. And you will notice all your relationships getting better, because you are better. You are getting into the routine of being the person you choose to be. It doesn’t get much better than that really.
Reduce Abuse. Support, Mentor, Change.
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