I can only speak for myself - Blue Eagle

​I can only speak for myself; I know opening up and talking about what’s “REALLY” going on with you is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced.  I was so accustomed to living with trauma, hate and a general detachment from connecting to anyone emotionally.  It took me 31 years to get this way.  Over those 31 years there’s been ALOT of good, but the bad heavily outweighed any light.
 
Healing from this seemed farfetched and impossible, it seemed like something unattainable for someone like me.  “How could I forgive myself?  How can I forgive those who done me harm?”  These were questions I’ve asked myself since I was a boy.  Also, “Why should I, they don’t deserve it.”
 
Well… New Leaf has shown me how unhappy and sad I really was, they showed me what I look like carrying all that around for so long.  With that, they also showed me MY way of healing and re-connecting that works for ME.  Something no jail or therapist ever came close to doing.  They gave me the tools I needed that allows me to love myself and others again.  If it wasn’t for their wise and sometimes very blunt words, I wouldn’t be writing this.  I would be writing letters from a cell that would forever go unread.  From me to my child, who if it wasn’t fir this program would be a reality. 
 
Fortunately for me this isn’t the case anymore, now I’m working towards the most important relationship with my child and fighting the good fight. 
 
New Leaf has given me back my hopes and dreams.
 
“The things others would not do, I did
The rivers others would not swim, I swam
The Mountains others would not climb, I conquered
The bridges others would not cross, I crossed
 
I have celebrated personal goals
And have mourned
But now…
It does not phase me
For I am different
I am a Warrior.”
 
-Blue Eagle