New Leaf's Group Process - Steve Law

A group of men (and one male and female counsellor) sit in a circle on the mismatched couches 

and chairs in the New Leaf lounge. Each session begins with an introduction of who is new to 

the circle and who may have been there many times before. Each person is greeted and 

welcomed and acknowledged for their presence. Then the conversation circulates throughout 

the room, and each guy has an opportunity to do a “check-in” to see what’s new, what’s 

happening in their lives, what challenges are arising. And things emerge, as they generally do, 

about someone’s relationship, a court appearance, an issue that arose at a job, about their 

partner, spouse or children. Maybe something bothered them that day, or maybe they just miss 

their kids. Sometimes the conversation circles right around the room, and sometime it settles 

on one individual’s situation or circumstance. At times the facilitators or the other guys will 

probe and prod to unearth the tension, or fear or sorrow that underlies the mask the guys have 

worn to group that day. And as stories are unearthed, the guys will begin to talk to one another, 

challenge one another with suggestions, reminders, feedback and advice. The group process is 

a form that holds men to account for one another. Using the experience of the more seasoned 

participants, men share their own learning and transformational journeys of having been new 

and frustrated, fearful and uncertain. The process allows men to be seen and listened to by 

their peers. In this way, the men have an opportunity to build a better understanding of their 

actions in the world and to unlearn the violence, control, sexism, and attitudes which have 

governed their behaviours and affected their relationships. It is not an easy place for men to go, 

but when they do, transformation becomes possible. It is a simple and yet profound process of 

listening and dialogue where important truths can be shared and men can be themselves and 

share their struggles, their frailty and their humanity, and ultimately, to learn how to be better 

men in this world.

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Steve Law is a contributor to the New Leaf blog. He is a father, partner, Mediator with Emerge International, Novelist of Tailings of Warren Peace, Farmer at SunRoot Farm and Social Transformation Program Coordinator - Tatamagouche Centre.